Top Gun is currently in rotation on HBO. Amazingly, I remember when it came out in 1986 and my dad took all of us kids to go see it. We were living in the suburbs of Ft. Worth Texas and my dad was a contractor, working for General Dynamics building flight simulators for the pilots who fly fighter jets. My dad was about as excited to see the movie as I’ve ever seen him (despite being very uncomfortable during the love scene.)

My dad never talked about his work with us – I’m not sure why. He wasn’t a very talkative person in general.

When dad passed away I had a really hard time writing a eulogy for him because I barely knew him.

The anniversary of his death is coming up and while it isn’t as raw as it was initially, I’m finding that the month of May and leading up to when he actually died, he is in my thoughts more.

There are so many questions I wish I could ask him, so many things I wish I could find out about him, so many times I wish he were around for help and he’s not there to guide me.