The Death of My Marriage

Unfortunately for me,  I have surrounded myself with narcissistic people.  And I got suckered in by a good one.  Things were kind of bad before I got sick what with him not helping out with the babies, or even the toddlers and wanting to just run off and do his boy things leaving me to do all the house stuff and kid stuff while also working full time and dealing with a full time health issue.

But when I started going to the pain clinic and they put me on the pain killers, a funny thing started happening.  At the end of each month I wouldn’t have enough medication.  And this was happening like, all the time.  So, my first thought was that I was just being irresponsible with how I was taking my medication I went to my local pharmacy and picked up some of those pill holders



so that I could keep better track of my medications but still medication was going missing, specifically the percocet.  The doctor prescribed me 4/day and I would usually be missing 1/day which means that my afternoon dose would have to be skipped.

The theory then was that I must be taking extra medication in my sleep.  But I’m such I light sleeper that I wake up at the slightest noise and I don’t sleepwalk.  So that one is pretty much impossible.  My Christmas present that year was a combination safe where I would keep 3 of the four weeks and I’d keep just one week in my purse.  And that resolved things for awhile until about 3-4 months later when things started going missing again and just that 1 percocet out of each day.

It’s also worth noting that my ex-husband worked at a small, local, independent pharmacy at the time and he was in charge of delivering all of the patients medication and regularly he was also in charge of disposing of it as well.  He would come home with medication that he was supposed to dispose of that he’d kept himself.  I’m pretty sure he developed a lovely little drug habit that he supported from my medication, medication he got from customers at work and the many times he went to the ER with bogus injuries.

When the combination safe became compromised, I purchased a fingerprint safe and again, things were good for about 6 months and then one day I noticed that the back-up key, which is used when the batteries die (and I’d hidden in a tiny pocket in my purse), had gone missing and also a TON of my medication.

And it wasn’t just that he was stealing medication from me a lying to me about it.  He was also spending money like we were the Rockerfellers when we were more like the Clampits.  He was also chewing tobacco despite multiple promises that he wasn’t and despite the fact that it had been a deal breaker early in our relationship.

So, with our relationship falling apart I asked him several times to move out and he refused because of course, I was his safety net.  I was the wallet.  I was the glue that held everything together and without me, he wouldn’t have anywhere to live.  So, he threatened suicide.  He thought that would make me change my mind but all it did was piss me off more and I called the cops on him to take him away.

I filed for Divorce in October 2011 and at the time I filed my ex was STILL living in the house (though not sleeping in the same bed as me).  He had 45 days to pack his things to get out. During that time he spent almost every day berating me and harassing me and threatening me.  The night before he was supposed to move out he stood in the doorway of my room refusing to get out, still berating me and still asking me the same questions over and over expecting a different answer and when I tried to shut the door he threatened to punch me.  (Cops called again)

By the time that final day came for him to move out, he was still 100% convinced that I was going to let him stay, that he had not packed ONE SINGLE THING.  He hadn’t even looked for anywhere to stay so he took a couple of laundry baskets of clothes and moved into …..MY PARENTS’ HOUSE.

He spent the entirety of the period we were separated either trying to get me to change my mind or harassing and berating me.

The one thing that didn’t happen with him out of the house?  I didn’t have ONE SINGLE PILL go missing.  NOT A SINGLE ONE.